Sanders Wows at Crisler with Illusions, Message

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A flock of doves appears as if by magic in Sanders’ dramatic finale Monday night at the Crisler Center

The crowd went absolutely crazy. Arms spread, lowered by wires amidst billowing fog and rotating spotlights to the moving strains of “The Final Countdown,” Bernie Sanders made a dramatic entrance Monday evening for his address at Crisler Center in Ann Arbor, descending onto the stage like an angel brought down from Heaven. Sanders visited Michigan in an effort to boost his showing at the Democratic primary on Tuesday and snatch victory away from the athletic jaws of Hillary Clinton. He addressed a receptive audience of thousands with his progressive message and his hypnotic stagecraft.

After a warm message of gratitude to the adoring throng, Bernie turned to a familiar target: Wall Street.

“The fat cat bankers and Wall Street billionaire class thought they could bring our economy to its knees and everything would come up roses!”, said Sanders swinging his arm as a bouquet of roses appeared in his hand from seemingly nowhere. The crowd gasped and erupted in applause.

“But America is not going to lie down and take it anymore” yelled Sanders, his indefatigable voice holding up after four straight months of yelling his hopeful message of economic revolution at receptive young voters, “They’re going to get a wicked caning from the Sanders administration!”

A tony walking cane appeared as he flung his hand down and Sanders nimbly twirled the cane in his fingers. Audience members looked at one another, stunned at his expert sleight-of-hand, before returning a roar of approval.

“Now I need a volunteer”, shouted Mr Sanders, “Someone who’s fed up with corporate money and willing to join me in taking on the oligarchy that is taking over our country!”

After an expertly executed illusion where a young woman with dreadlocks and multiple piercings was apparently split up into multiple cabinets and reassembled, Sanders held the crowd in his palm. He continued with illusion after illusion, weaving in his message of equality and progressive taxation, all perfectly dealt with a fast-paced rhythm.

“after extracting an endless string of colored scarfs from the cupped hands of a surprised University of Michigan undergrad, Mr Sanders finished his address by conjuring a flock of doves from nowhere”

Finally, after extracting an endless string of colored scarfs from the cupped hands of a surprised University of Michigan undergrad, Mr Sanders finished his address by conjuring a flock of doves from nowhere, calling out “The American spirit of opportunity and equality must fly free” as the birds flew up and away.

After the emotional and technically deft address, local voter Frank J King said he was still somewhat undecided, “I like Bernie but I’m not sure if he’s electable. I figure I’m voting for either Bernie or Trump.”

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